“Monday 5 Things” ….. Permissions …..
May 19, 2025 by D. Paul Graham
Ever curious and always amused by the quirks of life, join D. Paul Graham each Monday for more M5T pondering.
“I Fly Because I Can” Photo by D. Paul Graham
Race weekends brim with energy, controlled chaos, and noise with an uncompromising dance of pace, precision, and power. In the midst of photographing the intensity and elegance of a race weekend, between roaring engines, shifting gears, and moments frozen in time, I find space for deeper contemplation. It’s in the quiet intervals between sessions that I find clarity, and a chance to reflect, reset, and reconnect spiritually. Photography, at its essence, is permission to pause, observe, to create, and to absorb life's rhythms. It has taught me not only to capture beauty but also to grant myself the freedom to seek beauty beyond the lens. This morning’s M5T reflects on subtle and profound permissions that we can gift ourselves to nurture peace and purpose in our lives.
1. TO BE PROUD OF YOU. Yes, you. The you who got out of bed on the really hard days when it would have been easier to roll over and hope the world would just disappear. The you who wrote the letter or sent the email that needed to be delivered, even though your hands were shaking when you composed the message. The you who showed up. Not perfectly, not without fear, not without feeling the weight of decisions to be made, but with honesty. So often our pride shows up for the grand moments. The graduations, the diplomas, the promotions, the photo-ops. But what about feeling pride in surviving something quietly? What about the hundred tiny choices that no one noticed, but you made them and owned them anyway? You are allowed to take deep and profound pride in your own story. Raw, authentic, back straight, shoulders squared, chest up, “I did it" pride. It matters because you did.
2. TO OUTGROW PEOPLE AND PLACES. The loyalty we feel to our former selves can hold a strange power over us. It can convince us that we owe something to the towns we once called home, the friendships we treasured, the relationships we nurtured, and even the careers we thought would fulfill us forever. But life, by its very nature, demands growth and change. If we're committed to emotional health and personal progress, we must embrace the natural necessity of evolving beyond the familiar and the comfortable. Trees don’t cling to last year’s leaves out of nostalgia. Leaves have to fall to make room for growth that can only come from a new season in life. This isn’t about abandoning people as you grow. It’s a profound gesture of trust in yourself by honoring who you are becoming. Outgrowing isn’t betrayal. It’s the foundation of becoming a new you by choosing authenticity over comfort, and gracefully letting go to embrace the new chapter in your life.
3. TO PROTECT YOUR TIME. Time is like gold. There are entire media economies with the sole intent and purpose of stealing your attention. Your inbox is full of “urgent” that isn’t. Urgency that is someone else’s, not yours. Your calendar is overstuffed with obligations that feel like slow leaks. But your time? Time is sacred. Time is your life in motion. You have the right to decline the coffee date with that toxic person that drains you. To reschedule the Zoom call, or any meeting for that matter, that has no clear agenda. To leave social gatherings that leach your energy. To not immediately answer texts and emails. To decline invitations from family and friends. To block off a whole day just to think, to breathe, to reset. Busyness is not a badge of honor. It can often be a barrier to meaning. Guard your time, without apology. It’s the most important asset that you have.
4. TO CELEBRATE YOURSELF. Where is it written that joy requires a reason? Celebrate you without a reason or an occasion. Imagine stepping out of the exhausting cycle of always needing permission or validation from others to feel joy. Life doesn’t pause between big events. It evolves from the countless small moments that quietly define you. Finding delight does not require an external achievement of the approval of others. Celebrating yourself is not self-indulgent vanity. It's an act of radical self-love, affirming your worth and existence beyond external validation. Give yourself permission celebrate yourself, your joy. Celebrate the quiet bravery it took for you to choose optimism amid challenges. Celebrate the unnoticed moments when you forgave yourself, even though nobody else even knew of your struggle. You are never obligated to justify your happiness, nor should you wait for anyone to declare your worth. You are both artist and masterpiece, author and protagonist, the source and the receiver of joy. Celebrate accordingly.
5. TO START OVER. This might be the most radical permission of all. You don’t owe the world any explanations, dramatic justification, or apologies. Just a quiet choice to pivot. Sometimes, the most transformative shifts happen without fanfare from a whisper of clarity that tells you it's time for change. Your past does not have to hold your future hostage. You can start over. You can reinvent yourself. Starting over isn’t a failure. It’s a form of courage that comes from listening to your deeper revelations, not clinging to a version of yourself that no longer breathes. These changes don't erase who you've been. They honor who you are becoming. Embrace the unknown, welcoming uncertainty as a partner rather than an adversary. Give yourself permission to experiment, stumble, fail, rise, recalibrate, and bloom again. And you are never too late to chase it.
Here's to a week living your life with a blank permission slip that can be signed by no one but you.
For over 13 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T™. He continues to grant himself permissions in life.
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