“Monday 5 Things” ….. Lead Like A Mother …..

May 12, 2025 by D. Paul Graham

Ever curious and always amused by the quirks of life, join D. Paul Graham each Monday for more M5T pondering.

“Last Days”, from the Graham archives.

She was the original CEO of our households. She taught us about leading with strength, grace, and tenacity. She juggled a full-time job, cooked dinner, ran the calendar, broke up sibling arguments, bandaged knees, made sure bills were paid on time, and still had enough in the tank to ask how you were doing, each and every day. She taught you that the best leadership lessons weren’t necessarily taught in classrooms. The best lessons were taught around the dinner table, during walks in the neighborhood, in the car, after bedtime stories, and in the quiet, powerful way she shaped your life. This morning’s M5T looks at powerful lessons learned from our mothers.

1. LEAD BY EXAMPLE, NOT BY EGO. MOM never needed a title to earn our respect. She led with action, not just words. She didn’t lecture about responsibility because she modeled it. She didn’t preach about integrity, she lived it, quietly and consistently. If she told us to treat others with kindness, you could bet she was doing it behind the scenes in ways we never saw until we were older and wiser. She taught us that credibility is earned, not claimed. That by modeling the behavior you want to live, whether it’s showing up on time, staying humble in success, or admitting when you’re wrong, people will follow you because they want to, not because they have to.

2. EMPATHY ISN’T WEAKNESS. IT’S A SUPERPOWER. MOM could read a room faster than anyone. She knew when something was off, even if we swore everything was “fine.” She showed compassion not by fixing every problem, but by sitting with us in it. She asked questions, listened deeply, and often said the exact thing we needed to hear. She taught us that empathy builds trust. It makes people feel seen, heard, and valued. Not just for what they do, but more importantly, for who they are. She was living proof that in times of stress, change, or failure, a little humanity goes a long way.

3. PLAN BUT BE FLEXIBLE. Moms are master logisticians. They have a mental calendar that puts Google to shame. School pickups, doctor appointments, birthday gifts, meals prepped and cooked, laundry, and bills were all spinning in her orbit, and somehow, she made it all work. And when it didn’t? She knew that life doesn’t stick to the script. She pivoted. She adapted and she did what she had to do to make it work. She taught us that strategy is vital, but rigidity is fatal. Mom taught us that the best leaders plan for success but also prepare for disruption. They keep one foot on the ground and one eye on the horizon. Her flexibility in all situations was leadership in action.

4. INVEST IN PEOPLE, NOT JUST PERFORMANCE. Your grades mattered, but what Mom really wanted to know is how you treated your classmates. She celebrated your wins, but never let you define yourself by them. She was more interested in your character than your résumé. That belief shaped how you see your own worth. Mom taught that great leaders don’t just manage output, they develop people. They recognize potential, coach with care, and focus on long-term growth over short-term wins. People will always remember how you made them feel far more than they remember your quarterly KPIs.

5. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SHOWING UP. Mom didn’t need grand gestures to make a lifelong impact for you and for others. She just kept showing up. She showed up when you were sick, when you were scared, when you were celebrating, when you failed, and even when you were sulking when things didn’t go your way. She waited patiently when you needed space. She showed up when it was inconvenient, when she was exhausted, when she wasn’t sure how to help, and even when deep down, she just didn’t want to. But she did. Just because she understood how powerful her presence would be. She may not have had the perfect words or the perfect timing, but she was about being there. For you. Fully. Faithfully. Mom showed us that showing up shapes credibility, consistency, and connection. She knew the effect of steady, supportive presence. She understood that you don’t always need to have a perfect solution or a well-timed strategy. She taught that most times, people just need to know you’re with them and that they matter.

Here’s to our mothers, the women who led by example with quiet strength, fierce love, and tireless presence in our lives. Thank you, Mom!

For over 13 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T™.  He continues to wish he had one more day with his mom.

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