“Monday 5 Things” ….. Forces …..

April 28, 2025 by D. Paul Graham

“Forces” Photo by D. Paul Graham

Standing in the check-out line at our local grocery store, I caught part of a conversation between two men. One of them said, "It feels like no matter how much I plan, life just flips (he may have used a stronger f-word here) everything upside down. I just don’t know what’s coming next." His friend sighed and said, "It’s flipping (again a stronger f-word) chaos. There’s nothing we can do about it." All day following my interloped conversation, it struck me how natural, and sad, it is to assume that if we can’t control life, it must be meaningless. I was also reminded that randomness isn't the whole story. The Stoics offer a deeper view of life that goes beyond chaos. Life is a series of forces, of patterns, and a larger design, that we’re all part of. The real skill isn’t avoiding the chaos, it’s learning how to move with it. This morning’s M5T considers forces we can tap into so that we can be aligned with the very nature of change.

1.  FORCE OF PERCEPTION. Reality doesn’t wound us; interpretation does. A harsh word, a setback, a loss. All of these are raw facts. Our mind assigns them value, paints them as threats or tragedies. A Stoic’s first defense is perception, to see clearly, without panic or prejudice. Before you react, step back. Learn to loosen your grip on petty grievances and emotional storms. When you are able to do this, things that once seemed huge, tend to shrink to their true size. Assess what is really happening. Choose your lens deliberately, or the world and circumstances will choose it for you. "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it." ~ Marcus Aurelius.

2.  FORCE OF WILL. Circumstances, fortune, illness, betrayal, and loss. None of these are yours to command. All are indifferent to your preferences, unmoved by your pleas, your fears, and your burdens. To demand otherwise is to set yourself against the nature of things, and to suffer needlessly. But there is one place where your personal sovereignty is absolute, and that is your will. Your will is your resolve to act rightly, justly, and morally to bear what must be borne without compromising your integrity. That choice is yours and yours alone. It is the fundamental foundation of your inner freedom. Your will is not loud. It does not grandstand or posture. Your will moves silently beneath the clamor of the world, a quiet and inexhaustible strength that says, “this I receive, this I shall bear and this I shall overcome.” You remain steadfast in the mindset that no calamity will uproot it, no injustice will silence it, and no sorrow can erode your will. In this way, you are unbreakable. "When something happens, the only thing in your power is your attitude toward it; you can either accept it or resent it." ~ Epictetus

3.  FORCE OF DISCIPLINE. We often think of “freedom” as doing whatever we want, whenever we want to. Stoics teach the opposite. Freedom is found in discipline, potency is centered in restraint, and power rises from calmness. Discipline liberates us from the chaos of unchecked emotion, impulsiveness, indecision, and laziness. It is a daily act of love toward yourself that protects your time, guides your energy, and honors your higher purpose. In every small act of restraint, you claim authority and control over your own life. The type of honesty that stems from refusing to blame others, that leaves no room for self-pity, allows us to ask, “What am I doing well? What have I failed to control?  What do I need to change? What can I do better tomorrow?” Discipline is freedom in disguise and grows through awareness that allows us to make the small course corrections that lead to greater things. "Discipline strengthens the mind so that it becomes impervious to insult, to hardship, to disappointment." ~ Seneca

4.  FORCE OF TIME. Time is a ruthless and relentless teacher. Yet, how often do we waste time on petty arguments, mindless distractions, and endless postponement of dreams. Stoics see every day, every moment, to be used wisely. Waste no day thinking that you are owed another. Live your life today as fully as you can. This urgency does not come from panic, but rather from reverence of the importance of time spent with care and gratitude. Stoics use the phrase “Momento Mori”. To honor time. Time is finite and is your most precious and valuable resource. Time should be used for virtue, not for excess. Honoring your time focuses, clarifies, brings definition to purpose, and is a constant reminder that time is not something you have. You are using up time, right now. Refuse to chase fleeting pleasures. Simplify your desires and invest in those things in your life that cultivate wisdom, awareness, courage, and discipline. "Why waste time in idleness? Even if we do nothing else, we can improve our character." ~ Musonius Rufus

5.  FORCE OF NATURE. In nature, nothing stands alone. Every falling leaf, every crashing wave, every passing storm belongs to a greater order, as do we. Our lives are woven into the same fabric, where joy, suffering, victory, and loss are not just random events. Stoics view that adversity is not chaos. It is part of the design. We are not separate from the pattern. We are an integral part of it. For the Stoic, acceptance is not passive resignation but active alignment. It is not saying, "I give up," but rather, "I see this for what it is, and I choose how I respond." In that choice, we reclaim our freedom. In jiu-jitsu, the art is not to resist the force of your opponent, but to use it, blend with it, adapt to it, and turn it to your advantage. In the same way, when we stop fighting life’s hardships and start moving with them, we transform adversity into advancement, and struggle into strength. True peace does not come from controlling the world. It comes from understanding that change is the world, and we are another part of its endless motion. With this understanding, every challenge becomes a chance to strengthen the soul. Every moment, precious and fleeting, becomes an invitation to live fully. When we trust the pattern, we are no longer tossed by fate’s winds. We are anchored. Confident that every twist and turn shapes us into who we are meant to become. "A blazing fire makes flame and brightness out of everything that is thrown into it." ~ Marcus Aurelius

Here's to a week of embracing your forces within.

For over 13 years, D. Paul Graham has published “Monday 5 Things” ™, also known to readers as M5T™.  He continues to welcome chaos by embracing his forces within.

© 2025 D. Paul Graham

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