February 23rd, 2026 by D. Paul Graham

Ever curious and always amused by the quirks of life, join D. Paul Graham each Monday for more M5T pondering.

**“Lifelong Bonds” photo by D. Paul Graham, Braga, Portugal, circa 2017**

There’s a tidal rhythm to every life. Energy is the current. Attention is the pull of the moon. The people around you either lift you up and motivate you to keep moving forward or slowly pull you under.

Most of us monitor deadlines more carefully than relationships. We measure motion instead of meaning. Progress instead of presence. Yet the direction of your life is often determined less by what you do and more by who you move through life with.

This morning’s M5T conducts a “Friendventory”. Not of who you like. Not of who you’ve known longest. Not judgment. Not distancing for drama. But awareness of who lifts your tide and who lowers it because awareness always precedes alignment.

1. DO THEY MULTIPLY OR DRAIN YOUR ENERGY? Energy multipliers expand possibilities. They make ideas bigger. They breathe oxygen into your ambition. Their presence expands you without effort. Someone after whom the world feels a little more navigable.

Energy drainers create static. They belittle. They criticize what they don’t build. They rehearse problems without pursuing solutions. They leave you subtly doubting yourself.

Energy rarely disappears dramatically. Most often it slowly dissipates. A conversation that leaves you feeling slightly smaller. An interaction that dulls enthusiasm. A subtle shift from possibility to caution.

Pay attention to the after-effect of people. Do you feel sharper? More alive? More expansive? Or do you feel diminished, or emotionally drained? Energy is not infinite, but it is renewable, especially in the presence of the right people. Your circle determines your ceiling. Pruning isn’t cruelty. It’s clarity.

2. WOULD YOU TRADE LIVES WITH THEM? If you woke up tomorrow inside their habits, their discipline, their mindset, would you feel upgraded or downgraded? Not lives in the superficial sense of houses, titles, and accolades. But trajectory. Their standards? Their courage? Their work ethic? Their integrity? Their curiosity? Their resilience? Their generosity of spirit? Their relationship with risk, growth, meaning? If the answer is no, be careful how much influence they hold in your decisions. We often take advice from people whose outcomes we would never choose. That’s not loyalty. That’s laziness. We absorb more than habits from those around us. We absorb permission. Permission to dream bigger. Or permission to settle quietly. Choose carefully whose gravity you orbit. No dramatic exits required. Just awareness.

3. DO THEY CHALLENGE YOU OR ONLY COMFORT YOU? Comfort in our lives is essential, but excess comfort becomes sedation. Growth feels uncomfortable. Growth often feels like friction and friction creates forward motion. The best people in your life will encourage both, but in the right order. The people who love you best will not always agree with you. They won’t let you shrink. They won’t let you rationalize mediocrity. They won’t let you quietly quit on yourself. They’ll ask the inconvenient questions that you don’t want to hear or answer. They’ll point out the blind spots. They’ll expect more from you because they see more in you. If everyone around you agrees with you all the time, you are not surrounded by allies. You are surrounded by mirrors. The best of friends will hold up a mirror not to flatter but to clarify.

4. DO THEY CELEBRATE OR COMPETE WITH YOU? Success reveals the emotional architecture of others. There is a specific silence that happens when insecure people hear your good news. It’s subtle. Measured. Polite. But not joyful. They treat your success as a threat to their identity. That’s not friendship. That’s rivalry with a smile. Watch for it.

The right people light up when you win. They don’t compare timelines. They don’t calculate status shifts. They don’t quietly re-rank the hierarchy. They clap loud. They share your name in rooms you’re not in. They amplify you.

Celebrators see abundance. Competitors see scarcity. Gravitate to those who understand that another person shining does not dim their own light.

5. ARE THEY BUILDING OR COASTING THROUGH LIFE? Builders are restless in the best of ways. They are learning, refining, and evolving. They don’t always look successful, often looking uncertain, experimental, and unfinished. They don’t have it all figured out, but they are buzzing with forward motion.

Coasters protect comfort at all costs. They resist change. They mock ambition. They subtly discourage risk because your growth exposes their stagnation. Momentum is contagious. So is stagnation. Choose your contagion carefully.

Here’s to a week of choosing alignment over routine, clarity over comfort, and presence over proximity.

Paul continues his daily rebellion against routine, the seduction of comfort, and the trap of standing too close to mediocrity.

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You can reach Paul by email at dpg@imagegraham.com

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