November 24th, 2025 by D. Paul Graham

Ever curious and always amused by the quirks of life, join D. Paul Graham each Monday for more M5T pondering.

**“Table at The Common”, photo by D. Paul Graham, The Room at the Common Restaurant, Savannah Georgia**

From where I sit, the table has never been just a place to eat. It’s where real life happens. It’s where stories get told and retold, where laughter becomes its own language, where disagreements soften, and where love shows up in small, unannounced ways.

The table is the center of everything. When I sit with family and friends around a table, I’m reminded that no win, no project, no milestone in the world matters more than breaking bread with the people that I love. Watching over a table full of family and friends talking, laughing, eating, and drinking is true abundance, blessing, and worthy of thanksgiving. This morning’s M5T sets the table as we prepare to celebrate Thanksgiving this week in the US.

1. TABLES ARE WHERE STORIES BECOME MEMORIES. Every family story starts out as a rough, unpolished draft, with blurred details, competing recollections, and someone interrupting to say, “No, that’s not how it happened.” At the table, these portions get shaped into the versions we keep. This is where memory becomes communal and where the rawness of experience softens into a collective narrative. Sitting together at a table isn’t passive. It’s an act of co-writing family chronicles. It’s where we refine our history together and decide, almost unconsciously, the way in which we tell it. The table turns memory into a shared masterpiece, shaped by many hands, many voices, many hearts. The table turns memory into a shared inheritance and gives each person a role in how the family story is written.

2. TABLES FLATTEN HIERARCHIES. The table is a great equalizer. It pulls us away from the corporate, social, and personal ladders that we climb. It puts everyone at the same height and replaces identity with presence. The table doesn’t care about status, titles, or accomplishments. It doesn’t matter who earns what, who drives what, or who leads what. At the table, we’re simply family again. Spouses, sons, daughters, siblings, grandkids, cousins, and friends. Sitting at a table allows you to put down your armor and to be known in your simplest form of just being you. It’s one of the few places in life where you can belong without performing. The table reminds us that belonging isn’t earned. It’s given.

3. TABLES MAKE SPACE FOR THE WEIGHT OF ABSENCE. Every Thanksgiving table carries a shadow of those who aren’t with us. An empty chair, the quiet void of a familiar voice and laugh, the favorite recipe made every year. The presence of who we miss that lingers in memory more than in form. The table doesn’t rush us past this truth. The table allows grief and gratitude to sit side by side. Quietly and respectfully without rushing and without conflict. Absence becomes its own kind of presence. An ache that reminds us how deeply someone mattered and still does. There is sanctity in that coexistence. In acknowledging the absence of others, we honor how deeply they shaped us. It’s the love that remains and a gratitude that endures.

4. THE REAL PURPOSE OF A TABLE IS TO STRETCH US. Tables are built to expand. Add a leaf, pull up a chair, squeeze in one more person. This physical stretching carries a spiritual lesson. True Thanksgiving isn’t just about gathering those we already know. It’s about widening the circle. Inviting the neighbor with nowhere to go, the friend spending the holiday alone, the person whose story or politics don’t match ours. When we extend the table, we extend ourselves. We become larger than our habits, softer than our assumptions, and richer than our resources. This is the quiet miracle and blessing of hospitality. When the table grows, we also increase, both physically and emotionally.

5. TABLES TEACH US GENEROSITY. Generosity begins with the quiet choreography of a shared meal. It’s where the habit of kindness is formed. “Can you pass the … peas, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, more turkey, stuffing, mac and cheese, pumpkin pie, pecan pie, etc., etc.,.. please?” “You take the last one.” “I saved this for you.” The table shows us that generosity isn’t about grand acts. It allows us to pay attention to those around us. It’s accumulated awareness, a reach of the hand, a shared dish, a willingness to serve without being asked. These are the early lessons of noticing others before ourselves. It’s the first place we practice sharing what we have, not because we must, but because that’s how families stay whole.

Here's to a week of Thanksgiving. Not just for what’s on the table, but for the table itself and the way it shapes who we are. Wishing you all a blessed Thanksgiving.

Paul continues to choose the table where the simplest moments become the purest blessings.

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